


The Prince and the Snake Charmer

by pancakewithapen



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Implied abuse, Intense pining, Kidnapping, M/M, Mild Innuendo, Prince! Remus, Prince! Roman, Prince! Virgil, Remus is a little shit, Sexual Humor, Stuttering, Virgil is a little shit, appearance and then use of medieval weaponry, brief descriptions of blood, brief mentions of suicide (in a sarcastic remark), brothers! roman remus and virgil, central relationship is wholesome and non-sexual, cliche repetition of dialogue, discriminatory name calling from side characters, extraneous and awkward conversations, fatal danger concealed in a dark room, janus has a different name, lol, love at first sight kinda deal, sorry bout that lol, strong vulgarity, venomous snake bites, very gay! roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28223613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancakewithapen/pseuds/pancakewithapen
Summary: Two of the three prince brothers, Roman and Virgil, embark on a quest to recover a long-forgotten wand, only for the entire adventure to skew sideways when Roman nearly dies from a venomous snake bite. Things only go downhill from there, especially when Roman wakes up to find himself in the presence of a fallen angel.Well, not really, but Roman's always had a thing for dramatics.----Or: Roman's  Very Gay™️, Virgil's a little snitch, and Janus's name is Damian and Roman thinks he's cute
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Kudos: 16





	The Prince and the Snake Charmer

"Not that I'm against it, but that's suicide."

"Nothing can kill my brilliant godly self."

"Roman, don't you dare-"

Too late, he'd already jumped into the pit of alligators.

There were about 10 or 12 of them, all sleeping in the mud. Sounds only mildly threatening, but sleepy could go to Instant Kill Mode real quick if Roman wasn't careful.

He progressed slowly, searching for gaps to leap to. Creeping over alligators was similar to jumping over messes back at the castle's kitchen, Roman decided, but this had a quite a few more downsides than just slipping in a water puddle.

An alligator huffed, nearly touching Roman as he slowly stepped over its head.

This wasn’t Roman’s first time sneaking past animals that would rip your head off if you barely touched them. His younger brother, Virgil, provided a great deal of experience in this department.

Roman's boot sank into something soft. After a brief heart attack, Roman came to the conclusion that it was just a thick puddle of mud.

_Growl._

Or maybe not.

The alligator spun, lashing out at Roman's legs. Roman yelped, springing a clean 4 feet into the air onto the nearby stone ledge. Behind him, Roman could hear Virgil trying to laugh as quietly as possible.

"Well, at least I got through the hard part of the temple!" Roman shouted, glaring in his brother's direction. The rest of the undisturbed reptiles woke up with the sound.

Virgil stared at him. "You literal idiot, now I can't cross."

"They were already awake, Edge Lord,” Roman said, crossing his arms. The creatures below them growled and grumbled, sloshing around. "Besides, I just crossed completely successfully!"

"Because the _fuckin' monsters_ weren't awake," Virgil shot back, "Look, I'm not crossing now. Not 'til the things go back to sleep."

Roman looked off dramatically to the distance. "Fine. However! I shall continue," Roman said, glancing back to Virgil, "The sooner we find the magic stick for your beloved boyfriend Logan, the better."

Virgil went red. “He’s not my-”

“Riiiight, Mr. I Can’t Feel Affection, don’t believe you,” Roman said, rolling his eyes. “Can I go?"

Virgil huffed. "Sure, go ahead, you oh-so-brave-knight. Don't sing too loud. You might cause the ruins to collapse."

"I'm leaving!" Roman called over his shoulder as he walked down the next set of stairs.

They went down for a lot longer than Roman had initially thought.

The Temple was still outside, or so Roman guessed, because he could still hear the birds that occasionally cawed. The branches and leaves were so thick, though, it certainly felt like he was in a deep, dark, and dreary dungeon.

The stone wall reached all the way up to the thick roots that spanned across the top. Now that Roman looked closer, he noticed some strange faded art, in reds and yellows. It covered the entire wall, floor to the so-called ceiling. It was beautiful, in an eerie-ancient magic creepy sort of way.

At least there wasn't any danger, like more alligators, or rabid dogs, or snakes-

_Thump._

Roman turned, heart pounding, "Who's there?"

Silence. Huh. Ok. 

This is fine. Everything is perfectly fine.

Roman crept further into the cave, slipping through a small opening. The new hallway was significantly smaller and darker than the rest and had a stone ceiling instead of roots.

With the last of the light Roman had, he saw a small set up of baskets, tables, and fabrics that layered across the ground. A worn cabinet laid sideways on the right, mirrored by some kind of huge tapestry on the left. Does someone live here? 

Or rather, _had_ someone lived here?

On the table, though, Roman noticed a small open chest. He hurried closer, excited. From experience, whenever one found a chest of some sort, they should definitely take a look inside. The chests almost always yielded some sort of cool treasure.

Upon further inspection, he saw that it was a heavily decorated stick. Or, from what Roman knew about ancient magic, a wand.

Roman fist-pumped triumphantly, taking the small chest-perhaps around the length and thinness of his forearm-and slipping it into his satchel. That was way quicker than he expected. Didn't even have to do any parkour or run from a giant boulder released from a trap. Found exactly what they had been looking-

_Snap._

A faint shuffle.

"Alright, who's there? I know you're there," Roman said quickly, spinning around to let his eyes dart around the room. "Don't worry about me hurting you, I'm just exploring around here. Honest."

_Hiss._

Roman yelped, covering his mouth with his hand stop the sound partway through. The floor was pitch-black. He couldn't see. There was a snake. On the ground. But where?

Roman moved forward. A sound. He froze. A long, thin weight glided over his foot.

_OhmygodOhmygodthereohshit-_

Numb with fear, Roman kicked his foot forward. The snake flew off, screeching in protest, but the warm weight was replaced by cool, comforting air.

Two seconds passed, and Roman sighed in relief. He’d gotten rid of the reptile without it biting him.

Roman almost laughed at himself too, he'd just been so unnecessarily fearful, his head went light-headed. Roman even felt kind of dizzy, and his mouth went dry and numb too. Then Roman felt something warm trickle down his calf, and-

Oh.

Is that blood?

Roman was unconscious before he even hit the floor.

\----

_Okay._

_Hey. Wake up. Please?_

Roman coughed, his head throbbing. His ears rang like church bells. Why did he taste mint?

"Oh, thank the gods the medicine worked! You're okay?"

He groaned. Virgil had found him, thank the gods, but also: why him? Roman mumbled something sarcastically about dying heroically under his breath.

"Good.”

Virgil kinda sounded funny.

Roman felt around beside him to find where he'd sat down, but his hand only touched the stone floor and then a soft cloth. Maybe his satchel?

“Take your time. But, um, when you open your eyes, please don't freak out?"

"Alright," Roman mumbled, a sitting up on his elbows. He opened his eyes. "Why would I freak..."

Oh. 

Oh, no.

Someone lit a torch, illuminating the chamber. A boy sat above him, but it wasn’t Virgil. From what Roman could tell in the dim yellowish light, he was around Roman's age. But holy-Mother-of-Gorgons this was not good.

The boy had ragged shoulder-length dark brown hair and striking green and yellow eyes. The left side of his face was covered in beautiful gold scales, the human side splashed with freckles. He was small and lean, but when Roman looked at him, he somehow shrank, and became even smaller.

Henceforth, this became known as the exact moment Roman became completely certain he was gay.

Roman was also very certain that he had, in fact, actually /died/, and that this was the angel of beauty that had been forced to deal with his half-conscious ass.

Beautiful-Angel-Temple-Boy recoiled at Roman’s stare, interpreting Roman's look to mean something less kind. He sighed, glancing to the left to hide the scales on his face. "Sorry about me. I know it freaks people out."

“I'm Roman, what's yours?" Roman stammered.

Beautiful-Angel-Temple-Boy gave him a funny look.

"Um...I'm Damian," he, Damian, replied, sitting up a bit. Roman's heart fluttered. "My snake...sorry about her, she just tends to get violently defensive."

"It's okay," Roman dismissed, more worried about his own capabilities of maintain what he had of a conversational filter, "it's not your-wait, wait, 'my snake'?"

Damian winced, looking guilty. "Yes...?"

Apparently, Damian was not only cute, but also an extremely brave snake wrangler.

"Wow," Roman murmured.

Damian blinked. "What?"

"Nothing!" Roman defended, shooting up. His back cracked in protest. "Absolutely nothing. I did not speak. At all. Not a single word. Nope, nothing."

Damian gave him a look, and Roman wanted to jump off a freaking tower because, holy shit, his face should be illegal.

"Sorry, just-" Roman paused, steadying his breathing, "-just a bit jumbled up in the head."

Damian nodded in understanding. "That's ok. It might take a second before you can think straight again."

"I'm not straight, so that's not a problem," Roman replied on instinct, immediately turning bright crimson at Damian's expression.

"I mean, as in thinking-wise," Roman covered up, "I don't think straight ever, y'know? Like, because I'm dumb, and, y'know. Dumb, like really, uh, stupid, right?"

Damian tilted his head to the side, the corners of his mouth twitching upward a bit.

"Like, not...smart," Roman continued pathetically, "I'm just naturally an idiot.”

Over to the side, one of Damian’s snakes gave Roman an unimpressed look.

“It's a genetic thing-well, wait, um, nor like my parents are dumb too, it's just me,” Roman continued pathetically, “So not generic. I mean-genetic. The thing. I-wow-uh, never mind."

Roman wanted to scream. This was so unfair. He could’ve met Damian in literally any other situation other than this and it would've gone a _million_ times better, but no, he just had to be half-conscious, near delusional, and about to pass out for at least _five_ different reasons. 

Roman groaned, burying his face in his hands. "Just kill me know."

Damian laughed, a beautiful sound, and as if Roman's Gargantuan Gay Crisis couldn't get worse, now it was. Roman's heart burst into a happy little tap dance.

The human side of Damian's face turned a bit pink when he saw Roman's fond expression. Damian smiled shyly, tucking a hair behind his ear.

Then Virgil tromped down the stairs and freaking ruined it.

Damian panicked at the sound of another approaching, and he and his snakes were gone in two seconds flat before Virgil even appeared at the bottom.

"Oh, you're still here? Sorry, I was starting to think the things forgot how to sleep," Virgil quipped. He stopped, noticing Roman's extremely annoyed glare in his direction.

"What?" Virgil asked, frowning. He looked slightly amused, crossing his arms. "Did you see a ghost or something? What happened?"

~

Roman plopped down on his bed back at the castle, exhausted, embarrassed, and still very gay. 

He and Virgil had arrived back at the castle with the wand from the Ancient Temple, passing it off to the wizard apprentice Logan for inspection. Roman would've teased Virgil when he'd left to go with Logan, but his brother currently carried information that would make more than formidable blackmail. He'd rather stay away from those dangerous waters for at least as long as possible.

Roman stared at the ceiling, where intricate murals of old fantasy tales were painted. His room, though large, was decorated to be small and cozy, but still elegant. The walls were white, with the furniture dark brown with gold details. Red curtains framed the windows, which were always left open. The day hovered between light and dark, and streams of yellow light were cast upon the polished wood floor.

Roman had it designed to be a calm, peaceful place for him to be an introvert every once in a while. The quiet was a nice background for Roman's troubled but smitten thoughts.

_BAM._

"Did the once pathetic, loveless, lonely Roman finally find a beautiful-ass man to obsess over?"

Roman sighed, rolling over to his side. His older brother, Remus, was known for breaking down the doors of people’s personal spaces. Looking away and trying to ignore him was standard protocol. 

"Virgil told you?" Roman asked bitterly.

"Yep. Ultimate betrayal, I’ll kill him slowly for you,” Remus sang, practically skipping over. "So, you’re in love? Smitten? Star-crossed? Struck by an arrow? Gimme the tea."

"No. Go away, Remus."

“You are? That’s amazing!” Remus cheered, "And of course I'll stay, we gotta have that bro-chat."

Roman groaned, completing his depressed pancake flip face-first onto his bed. He felt the weight of his older brother Remus as he sat on the other side.

"So who is he?"

Roman meant to mutter something along the lines of "That's none of your business,", but it came out as more of a grunt.

"Ok, fine. Is he a hot or cute type?"

Roman hit Remus on the knee, hoping that it might warp him out of existence.

"Great, thanks. I really do prefer the cute-and-fuckable type."

Roman shot up immediately, glaring, "You would not."

"So you do have a lovey-dovey!" Remus cooed, to which Roman sighed and flopped back down again. "It's about time the Pathetic Prince Roman fell hard for someone. Hard, get it?"

"I do-did not!" Roman shouted into the mattress.

“Oh, really? But you are clearly suffering through a Gay Panic Attack right now."

"I am not!"

"Roman, I'm probably God. I see all," Remus sighed dramatically, "Just spill. I know you, and you’re totally being gay, you have all the symptoms. Y'know, red face, denial, boner-"

Roman flipped back over on his back. He glared Remus, hoping that if he stared like this at him for long enough his brother would burst into flame.

“I am not.” Roman seethed.

“So are too,” Remus chirped, thoroughly enjoying himself. The asshole.

“'So' am not!”

"You are."

"Am. Not!"

“Deny it as much as you will, dear brother, but love is a force that cannot be stopped."

“Frick you."

"I’ll wait.”

They sat in silence for a couple minutes.

Roman grabbed one of his pillows and pulled it on top of his face, screaming into its fluffy void.

 _"How can you stand this?"_ Roman cried dramatically into the fluffy cushion, "He's just too perfect and beautiful and kind and it has got to be illegal somewhere, and I can't even say or do anything about it because he's probably straight-" 

Remus scooted over beside Roman, patting him on the shoulder. Though he acted understanding, Roman was 100% certain Remus had that smug-and-satisfied grin plastered on his face that he got whenever he made Roman admit to something embarrassing (though, that wasn’t ever really difficult to begin with).

"And smart, too!” Roman went on, “He even revived me, though we'd never met. With these magical little pieces of mint. And he's reserved and kind and brave and's got the cutest smile, and-and how!? Do you not, like, die? Every day?"

"Everyone dies a little bit each day," Remus responded over Roman's muffled banter. Remus patted his shoulder, scooting over next to him on the edge of the bed. He slung an arm over Roman's shoulder.

“The trick is not showing how much your emotions are slowly gnawing at your insides,” Remus instructed, “Which is something I’ve mastered, of course.”

Roman looked up from his hands and raised an eyebrow. “Really? I doubt that.”

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in?"

The door creaked open, and one of the palace servants stepped in.

“Prince Roman,” The servant said, “Dinner will be served-oh, Remus! I mean-“ Roman glanced at his brother, who was smirking, “Prince Remus. Apologies. Sir. Prince. Sir."

Remus grinned, sending him a wink. "S'okay, Patton."

Patton turned red, smiling for a millisecond at Remus. before glancing nervously at Roman and quickly closing the door.

Roman turned and gave Remus a look.

Remus turned, dramatically placing his hand over his heart. "Love, my dear brother," he said wistfully. He hummed happily, gazing at the door. "What an angel. Sweet, humble, gentle. Cute moan."

"Eww," Roman complained, shoving at Remus's shoulder. "That's gross. Shut up."

Remus grinned. "A futile request."

\----

The next day, Roman found himself walking back to the old Temple. He followed the path he and Virgil and taken last time, but he felt as if he'd done it a million times before.

The morning went by in a blur. Until Roman stood in front of the alligator pit did he realize he'd just come all the way there, excusing everything up until that moment as a strange dream.

But nope, those snarling reptiles were certainly real life.

Roman froze. "What are you doing?" He muttered to himself, shaking his head. "He doesn't want to see you again, what on earth?"

Roman turned, retreating back down the steps, continuing to talk to himself. Damian probably wasn’t even here anymore.

Roman's foot hit something soft.

On instinct from yesterday's trauma, Roman jumped back up the steps with yelp. However, this time is turned out what he'd stepped on wasn't even alive. Instead, it was a small abandoned brown satchel, flopped down on the ground. There were some strange looking lumps poking through the fabric.

Roman slowly picked it up, peeking inside. He found (and accidentally drop a few) bunches of medicinal herbs, like yarrow, goldenrod, and...mint.

Mint?

Roman had tasted mint when he'd woke up. Damian had healed him, with mint, from his bag. This bag.

Would Damian just have abandoned his first-aid satchel like this?

"I don't think so," Roman muttered, noticing a small trail of smushed, dropped leaves going off into the forest. The bushes around them where mangled and torn, like someone had been dragged through. "I really don't think so."

Roman picked up what he had dropped, sealing the bag shut. He wrapped it around his waist, running into the forest where the trail of scattered herbs led him.

It didn't make a path for very long. Fortunately, there are other ways to find someone in a forest. Roman knew how to track, he needed the skill whenever he went hunting or on quests. It was kind of a necessary thing.

_Hiss._

Roman turned calmly (surprising himself, too) and saw a snake in the tree. It hung from where it wrapped elegantly around a branch. It snarled, but it didn’t strike, or threaten to.

"Hi there," he said to the reptile. It responded by turning its head and looking straight in one direction. Roman stood in confusion only briefly before understanding what the snake meant.

That way.

Roman crept up to a bush, having heard voices. It was right outside a clearing, and Roman figured he should at least pretend Virgil was there and think before acting.

"Just get in, mutant," a harsh voice commanded, followed by the sound of a smack.

"Let me go!" another voice responded, Roman winced when he realized it was Damian, "I have a life, I'm not joining your pathetic little circus, dickhead."

_Smack._

"Shut it! No one asked you!” A different voice said, "If we're gonna go, let's go. The boss is waiting."

Roman gripped his sword. Ok, yeah, enough thinking.

"Hey!" Roman shouted, jumping out of the bushes. He saw, much closer than he thought they'd be, a tall brownish-grey caravan pulled by a miserable horse. Two guys sat in front, two more trying to force a tied-up Damian into the back.

"Let him go," Roman threatened, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword. "Don't make me force you."

"Oi, get the hell out o’ here," a guy on the cart shouted, "Don't make us kill you!"

Roman glanced at Damian (who looked rather stunned), and felt a spur of determination. "I'd like to see you try."

“Right, get ‘im!” Ordered a guy on the cart.

"Not that I'm against it, Roman quipped, relishing in the cliche drama of his dialogue, "But that's suicide."

The two next to Damian both rushed at Roman at once, drawing their swords.

Roman met them with his own blade, easily disarming the first and getting him out the fight with a well-aimed kick. The second was more skilled-Roman let his guard down more than he'd like to admit-but he went down too as Roman hit him over the head with the sword hilt.

Roman heard a loud whack from behind him. Damian had kicked another guy away from him, yelling curses in some other language. Roman rushed over, but it seemed like Damian had it under control. He snagged the ropes that tied his hands on his opponent's dagger, cutting him free, and then shoved some sort of herb in the guy's face. He took one whiff of it and fell to the ground, either unconscious or dead.

Damian spun towards Roman frantically, "Look out-"

Roman barely turned in time as the last guy swung at him, which would've been a fatal blow had it not been for Damian's warning. Roman caught it dangerously close to his neck, sliding it away. They spared quickly for a bit until the guy fainted a blow, which to Roman's shame, unfortunately, worked. It sliced his arm, cleanly leaving a long line of red. Roman yelled in pain, spots swirling in front of his eyes.

He heard another thwack, and the guy who'd cut him crumpled to the ground, thanks to Damian's club-wielding abilities.

Roman grasped at the wound, blood making its way down his arm, dripping in the grass. He fell to the ground, slightly dizzy. Damian kneeled next to him.

Damian ripped two strips of cloth off Roman's cloak, using the first to wipe the wound. He took his abandoned pouch from Roman, pulling from it a variety of herbs Roman would never have recognized. He ground them up between his hands, smeared it over the wound (which stung painfully), and wrapped the second piece of cloth around Roman's arm.

Damian froze.

"Sorry I ruined your cloak," Damian muttered, pulling back.

Roman nodded, not quite realizing how obviously fondly he was gazing at him. "S'okay, Damian."

Damian smiled, tucking a hair behind his ear. "Let's go before they wake up," he said, standing.

Roman nodded, his head clearing already from the medicine. "Yeah. Let's."

Damian offered him his hand and helped him up. Roman held it a bit longer after, before letting go. Damian didn't seem to mind.

The two headed off back through the forest.

_Hiss...?_

Damian looked to the tree, grinning when he saw his snake. His smile made Roman's heart make a variety of loud noises.

"Saffi!" Damian exclaimed, extending his arm to let his snake curl on him. Roman made a mental note to make sure he remembered the snake's name.

They reached the temple a couple minutes later, and Saffi slithered off. The forest was quiet and peaceful, the day hovering between light and dark again.

"You should go home before night sets in," Damian said, looking to the sky. "The forest gets pretty dangerous."

Roman frowned. "Then how do I know you'll be safe?"

Damian shrugged. "I mean...I've survived so far, haven't I?"

"I suppose so," Roman said, looking over to the other, trying to memorize his face. He wanted to bring Damian back with him-the Forest _is_ dangerous, and also Damian really looks like he needs more food-but he knew it'd be a little weird, so he kept quiet.

"I'll come back soon," Roman offered instead, "I promise."

Damian smiled shyly. "See you then," he said. Damian slipped his hand into Roman's, passing off a small yellow dandelion flower to him. Roman squeezed his hand before he let go.

Damian paused, standing still a second longer. After a mere moment's hesitation, he stepped forward on his toes and kissed Roman on the cheek. 

Needless to say, every functional part of Roman's brain shut down instantaneously.

"Goodbye, Roman," Damian said, smiling fondly. He vanished off into the woods, leaving Roman behind. Every trace of his being vanished within seconds, except for the small yellow flower Roman held gingerly in his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> oof that's gay
> 
> -ash
> 
> \----
> 
> p.s. feel free to roast this garbage in the comment section below


End file.
